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Don’t Let Self-Pity Poison Your Life — Here is how..

Don’t Let Self-Pity Poison Your Life — Here Is How..




  • Posted On : 16-Sep-2019
Unwanted changes, unexpected challenges, loss, disappointments, abuse or other forms of adversity often bring with them hurt or harm. Feelings of self-pity are quite normal and understandable. It is natural to feel sorry for yourself when you are having a hard time. But if self-pity takes over and you don’t reign it in, it is a very problematic emotion. The Problem with Self-Pity Self-pity reinforces the sense of being a victim bringing with it hopelessness and inaction. Your options seem very limited. You are preoccupied with the past and see it as defining your future in a very negative and restrictive way. Your perception narrows to seeing only loss, damage and problems. You believe yourself to be helpless, defeated and vulnerable. Self-pity may keep you rather passive, hoping to be rescued, by someone, somehow. The Power of Self-Compassion Self-compassion also acknowledges the difficulty you find yourself in. But it is not about feeling sorry for yourself, blaming others or dwelling on misery. Appreciating the realities of your situation, self-compassion is a nurturing attitude towards yourself. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness, caring and empathy you would have for a very dear friend: gentle and understanding with yourself when you are having a difficult time, feel inadequate or have failed. Instead of allowing your inner critic to take over or getting stuck in victim-hood, you look at yourself in a compassionate way and extend comfort and care towards yourself. When it seems you are the only one who is inadequate or suffering, remember that being human brings with it vulnerability and imperfection. Whatever your experience, keep a balanced perspective rather than ignoring your pain or exaggerating it.


Mental Health - In cultures that rarely acknowledges it

Mental Health - In Cultures That Rarely Acknowledges It




  • Posted On : 13-Jun-2019
As someone born from refugee parents, I can say I have so much to be thankful for. My parents, grandparents, and many more within the family have faced it all back in Cambodia in the late 1980s; war, poverty, threat, sadness, lack of healthy lifestyles, and loss of loved ones. And here I am, in graduate school, living with a roof over my head and sleeping in a cozy bed every night. I'm glad my parents are proud of what I achieved. But there's one thing I don't talk about with them. I see a therapist. In many cultures, mental health is seen as a controversial or taboo subject, especially within minority communities. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, mental health in many minority populations are stigmatized, defies against cultural norms, and treatment is often seen is useless or ineffective. Unfortunately, my friends and I find that to be true based on experience, and there are quite a handful of youths going through the same. It is common that many adults deny mental health problems, for they simply do not believe in it. Therefore, those ideals are instilled upon their children. Meanwhile, the youth growing in America with cultural norms placed upon them by their parents can certainly give leeway to mental health problems. Imagine having depression, but your parents do not believe in it. Imagine having OCD, but your parents tell you to get over it. Imagine struggling with ADHD, but your parents tell you to just focus for one. Imagine dealing with anxiety, but your parents tell you "your too old to be scared." And yet, these are our parents. How can we defy them? They suffered through so much back in their homelands, therefore, how would our reasoning for mental health beat our parent's reason when they've "been through it all?" Moreover, it seems that the excuse of our parents "doing so much for us" will always get thrown in our face when we try to defend ourselves. For any of you out there dealing with this issue, I would like to say that there is a safe spot for you. Whether it be a therapist, best friends, close cousins, or online forums, there is a large community out there wanting to help and/or sharing their experiences with you! You can start anywhere, by acknowledging anything about yourself and then going out to speak, whether it be counseling or finding communities on Google. You are not alone. Moreover, your family will always love you. Life is beautiful and we have so much to be thankful for.


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